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Most people can't let go of the desire for material. We always want to eat and drink, want jewelry jewelry, want a house car, and want the latest iPhone.
If substance, in addition to meeting our basic life needs, there are some deeper reasons, which prompts us to continue to chase it on the basis of reaching a certain material.
Reason 1: Comparison.
A friend told me that he wanted to replace the car that had just drove for two years to Tesla, and he was worried that it would affect the quality of life after changing the car, so he hesitated.
I asked him: "Why is it so important for you to change the car?"
said: "The colleagues around them are not Mercedes, or BMW, Audi, Tesla, and I don’t want to continue my car. The car. "
I asked:" If the people around you are driving a car similar to you, do you want to change the car? "
Don't want to. "
This is derived from the comparison material pursuit, it is also a self -judgment of identity.
Humans are group animals, so our value is high or low, and largely depends on comparison.
The comparison is often made through the "comparison group".
As, as you don't go to wealth with the world's richest man, nor will it be as happy as the scavenger. You will only compare with someone who is similar to yourself, especially your classmates, your colleagues, your friends and your neighbors.
only when you think your house is larger than them, the car you drive is better than them, the brand on the body is more brand -name than them, their children are better than their children, and the days seem to be better than them. Will feel happiness and satisfaction.
Otherwise, you will feel pain.
. When you jump to the steps through hard work, you will no longer compare with the previous "comparison group", because you already have a new "comparison group", so you will fall into it again A new round of "comparison".
The that is, I have been working hard to make money, and I have been unsatisfactory.
Because there will always be a higher layer of "comparison groups" in this world. Even if you do, like Ma Yun and Ma Huateng, you will find that there are a higher level of "comparison group" above them. keeping it.
Reason two: human nature.
One of the nature of a person is "to avoid harm", so we are born with the instinct to avoid pain and tend to be pleasant.
It often encounters all kinds of pain and annoyance. At this time, we will try everything to escape the pain and find happiness.
The material satisfaction is a shortcut to avoid pain and find happiness.
So we will go to Hu to eat a meal when we are unhappy, and buy a diamond necklace for ourselves when I am in love.
because when we can't get the answer or see the way in the spiritual world, we may fall into a state of anxiety and anxiety.
The material enjoyment is just a good place that allows us to temporarily avoid mental pain.
is just like this, even if the material life is good, we will still pursue better and more.
Because we are constantly troubled by the spirit of being troubled, we can only help ice cream, big -name bags and beautiful clothes.
, but this evasion cannot solve the fundamental problem, and emptiness and confusion will come as scheduled.
If to solve the problem of emptiness and confusion, you must have to return to the exploration of mental problems, but the mental problems are always difficult to answer, so many people are unwilling to explore it and continue to use material desires to continue using material desires Come and paralyze yourself.
The is like this, and we put in the arms of material desire again.
Reason three: Human pure desire.
In general, people's attention will have two different attention points:
1) things/things we fail to satisfy.
2) What we already have/things.
can be said to be two different world views or outlook on life.
as when we focus on those things we have not yet, we will have a lot of desires in the process "I don't have", "I want that" ... Then, we will Causes our dissatisfaction, disappointment, and even despair of existing life.
, however, the fact is: none of us, it is impossible for us to have the treasures of the whole world, and it is impossible to have everything you want.
It is like I want a true trace of Van Gogh, I want a true trace of Song Huizong, and I want a sculpture of Michelangelo. Is this possible?
obviously impossible.
What to do?
It, one of the Western philosophy schools, has proposed an exercise called "negative imagination" to help people transfer their attention that has never been satisfied to existing things.
The specific method is: imagine those things you already have, and will eventually leave, lost and lost.
Through this exercise, you will learn to retract the attention to those things you already have. Therefore, we can reduce our fantasy and pursuit of material desires, so as to cherish what we already have.
Reason four: sense of security.
I wrote in the previous article that security is a common lack of everyone.
On the one hand, we need a sense of security; on the other hand, our lives and work are seriously lacking security.
So we will turn our own demands for security to "material" and "money".
Because material and money seem to be more stable than "passion", "intimate relationships that never end", "eternal appreciation of the boss", "forever guardian of loved ones", "stable work", etc. And reliable things.
It that is, because we have a sense of security that can never be satisfied, we are caught in eternal chase of material money.
The life is the pursuit of material.
If a person's life is purely pursuing material, then he falls into nothingness, pain, confusion, loss, or even despair, which will happen sooner or later.
If you say that life like Zhuangzi "only cares about the spirit and does not want material" is not what you want, and this life that has fallen into the vortex of the material life is not what you desire.
then you have to seek a balanced life -to a certain extent and to a certain extent, take into account your life for spiritual and material pursuits.
This is what I have been pursuing.
For me, the spiritual life must not be abandoned.
I knows that if I abandon my pursuit of spirit, my life will fall into nothingness, and my vitality will be exhausted.
, but a certain degree of material satisfaction is also important for me. I do not deny this.
Therefore, seeking a balance between the two is what I need.
How to balance the relationship between the two, and let myself fall into trouble from time to time, is one of the themes I have been exploring over the years.
Later, I summarized the methods I explored into several basic principles and practiced it. It is quite effective for a few years to do it for your reference.
Principles 1: In material, I will not compare with others, but to achieve my goal; at the same time, I am not attached to my material goals.
It in the formulation of material wealth goals, I will take the principle of comfort and joy, rather than the principles of "better", "bigger", "more expensive", "more fashionable", and "more advanced".
Te To the truth, in Shanghai for so many years, I have seen a lot of rich people.
I I have a one -to -one coach tutoring object, which is a very rich person.
I was invited to his mansion and garden. It was a mansion and garden that almost gathered the most perfect design and beauty in my ideal.
The enthusiastic about beauty, I naturally like it very much. I don't forget for a week.
I don't deny it. When I saw this house, I had the desire to have it. It evoked my naked desire for material in an instant.
, but I know, it is not my goal.
If I have to use this goal, it will not be achieved.
, but in order to get it, I will force myself to do a job I do n’t like and live a life I do n’t like.
For a house, is it worth it?
. My answer is: not worth it.
The same reason, when doing other purchase options, I will take this principle as the subject -not with others as the goal, but with my goal.
. After a long time, my consumption psychology and consumption habits have changed. And I can also be aware of the strong buying and possessive desires that suddenly surge at a certain moment, and can appease time in time.
, and when my own goals have not been achieved, I can let go, I am not attached.
Principles 2: In material, I will clarify which are the most important areas and which are unimportant areas, so as to formulate the list of material satisfaction that I feel most comfortable, rather than satisfy everything.
I I am a person who does not pursue luxury goods, so buying luxury goods will not bring me much satisfaction.
, but I like art and crafts very much, so I will spend money on porcelain, stones, and painting.
Is that after understanding my material satisfaction preferences, all I want to do is to keep my actual purchase behavior consistent with the true love of my heart.
This so, I can get the maximum satisfaction and joy from the material.
of course, I still have to control the total consumption, because paintings, porcelain, and stones are not much cheaper than luxury bags and shoes.
Principles 3: Consumption, creation, learning and experience can bring me happiness, but I choose more latter three.
The once for a while, I found that I would find a place for a good place every weekend, and then go shopping to buy clothes. I spend a lot of money every week, and I feel very excessive after spending.
So I made up my mind to adjust.
Next, I basically put the weekend time on the three things: "creation", "learning" and "experience".
For example: I went to learn how to do various handicrafts, and spend the weekend time on creating various works.
For example: I go to the garden to fully perceive the beauty, natural beauty, and artistic beauty of the garden.
For example: during vacation, I rarely choose to go to the beach to lie down on vacation. Instead, I will check the information before traveling, prepare it, and then learn while learning. It can also gain a lot of knowledge and knowledge, and increase the thickness of the experience.
I found that when I replaced "consumption" with "creation", "learning" and "experience", my vitality came back, and at the same time I got enough relaxation and emptiness.
This is much better than eating and shopping every weekend, not only saving money, but also more gain.
Principles 4: Exploring the spirit, I will invest the greatest time and energy, because I know it can bring me the greatest extent, and its benefits will continue to accumulate.
The investment and exploration of the spiritual world can bring me the greatest satisfaction, even beyond all satisfaction and ecstasy.
The on this point, I am convinced and tried repeatedly. At the same time, it will also produce very obvious benefits due to continuous accumulation and overlapping.
This benefits bring me a certain wisdom, so that I can use a more comprehensive, transparent and deeper vision to obtain understanding of everything.
Principles 5: At the end of the house.
What is the end of the house?
means: when the material can reach basic satisfaction, I will focus on the spiritual exploration.
In the process of spiritual exploration, because my understanding of myself is getting deeper and deeper, I deliberately develop my talent for myself, I have continued to manage my weakness, and I have become more and more intelligent, courageous and confident. Essence
So, compared to most people, it is easier for me to choose the correct way, use the correct method, hold the correct mentality, and do what I want to do and be good at. In this case, the possibility of a career will become much higher. In the end, material and money will follow.
So material money is not the fundamental goal and ultimate purpose of my life. They are just a by -product that I pursue the spirit.

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